Nobody Will Miss Me
by SweetSingingAngel
Summary: Nobody would miss her. Nobody cared. Not Sean, not Manny, not even her mother. How wrong she was.
1. Default Chapter

Nobody Will Miss Me

A/N: Don't worry, I will soon update ' You Look Familiar' when I get more reviews! I just wanted to start this new series of story.

" I'll never forget the way you loved me," Emma Nelson whispered as she re-read one of her old journal entries. She was always gushing about Sean Cameron, the way he kissed her, the way he made her feel, the way he made her fall in love...

With a sudden burst of anger, she threw her journal at the wall and screamed, " DAMNIT!"

Watching the journal slide to the floor, she felt warm tears slipping down her face, enveloping her body in sobs. She was breaking down again.

Emma never was a crybaby. If she cried, she cried for a damn good reason. She cried when that creepy online stalker Jordan guy almost raped her. She cried when she was watched sad love stories. She cried when Sean had pushed her to the ground, scaring the hell out of her. She cried when she realized that Craig had liked Manny the whole time, leading her on.

Ok, so maybe she was a crybaby. But she never broke down like this.

" Just kill me," she pleaded to God. " Just kill me and end my pain. I don't want to live anymore, I wanna go. I wanna go away, away from here!"

She was begging him. She honestly had no reason to live anymore. She had no friends. She had no boyfriend to endlessly love her. She used to be so close to her mom, but now it was like they were on two seperate planets. And it wasn't like anyone would miss her.

She swallowed heavily. Nobody would miss her.

Getting up, she made a list of everyone she wanted to say goodbye to.

1. Mom

2. Dad

3. Jack

4. Manny

5. Sean

6. J.T.

7. Toby

She paused. She was going to put Jay, but decided not to. He wouldn't miss her. He'd miss her ass, yeah. But not _her_.

8. Craig

9. Paige

She dropped her pen. That was it. She had nine friends. How PATHETIC.

Shaking, she started to write a note to her mother.


	2. Dear Mom

Dear Mom,

It's extremely hard writing this letter to you. And the scary thing is, I know I have the power to just crumple up this letter and go to therapy or something. I wish I could. But I'm too weak. I'm too weak to do that.

I've been crumbling for a long time now. I'm sad that you couldn't realize it, I'm sad that I didn't have the courage to talk to you about it. But it's too late now. I'm already dead.

I'll miss you, you know? I'll miss talking to you, hugging you, kissing your cheek. I'll miss you so much, can't you see my tear drops already? I'm sorry that I couldn't say goodbye to you. But I'm a loser. A big, stupid, loser.

Bye, Mom. I'll never forget the way you hugged me when I went through a rough time. I'll never forget helping you bring Jack to the world. At least you won't be lonely, you'll have him and Snake. You won't miss me.

Bye, Mommy. I love you.

Love,

Emma

Emma sealed the letter with a kiss and crossed off Mom on her list.

1 down, 8 to go.

NEXT UP: SNAKE


	3. Dear Dad Snake

Dear Dad,

I just got comfortable saying that to you. And now I have to go. I'm so sorry... I've been saying that a lot lately. Out of all the people in my life, you are one of the most imporant and special. Even when I barely knew you, in seventh grade, you were there to guide me. You helped Sean with his school problems. You even forgave him when he stole your laptop, something I could never do.

I thought you'd be the first one to go, in our family. Because of your cancer and all. But it's me. Selfish, little me. You're so brave compared to me, Dad. You stuck through cancer and I'm killing myself because I have a few problems.

Be brave for Mommy and Jack, Dad. I'm sorry that I can't.

I love you. I'll miss you.

Love,  
Emma

Emma sealed the letter with a kiss and placed it on top of the one titled ' Mom '. She tried hard not to ruin the fancy lettering by the smearing of her tears.

2 down, 7 to go.

NEXT UP: JACK


	4. Dear Jack

Dear Jack,

My little brother, the brother I will never get to know. It makes me so sad and guilty to write that. You are so lucky, you know that? You have a dad who adores you your real dad and a mom who would die for you. They brought you into this world with some help from me, I have to say and they will do anything to keep you in it. And you a have a older sister who loves you so much.

I barely know you, but I love you so much. You make my day brighter. Yes, you can annoy me so much when you cry and boy, does your diaper smell sometimes, but I forget all about that when I see your little eyes staring back at me. And don't you ever forget that, ok?

I'm sorry I have to leave you so soon. Just remember that I love you. So much, so much. It was worth missing dates with Sean to be with you, to hold you, to tell you that I love you.

I'll miss you.

Love,  
Emma

Emma walked over to her baby brother in the bassinet and kissed his forehead. " I'll miss you," she whispered.

She sealed the letter with a kiss and placed it on top of the other two letters.

NEXT UP: MANNY


	5. Dear Manny

Dear Manny,

What happened to us? We used to be best friends through thick and thin. Remember that, Manny? Remember? I do. We made that promise in the third grade, when J.T. purposely spilled his grape juice on you and I stuck up for you. Why'd you drop that promise?

Even though we didn't always agree about stuff, we always managed to stick together. Real friends always come back to each other after they've been in a fight. I tried to come back, Manny, but you pushed me right back out. I didn't fit into your new popular lifestyle. I remembered you telling me in the seventh grade that popularity isn't everything. I guess it is now.

I know we talk now. I know that. And I know we still hang out, have sleepovers, do each other's toenails... but it doesn't seem the same, yo know? We don't laugh at J.T.'s corny jokes anymore together... we don't roll our eyes at Toby's pathetic attempts to make me crush on him anymore together... we're not best friends anymore.

I'll miss you, Manny. I'll miss the old Manny. The Manny who would see right through my fake cheerful act right now. The one who would be calling me to ask me how I am. The new Manny pretends not to notice.

Bye, Manny. Have fun with your new popular friends. Just don't come crying to me when they stab a knife in your back. Remember when I said that? Except this time, it's true. Don't come crying to me, because I'll already be dead.

Love,  
Emma

Emma felt a little sense of sastifaction. She had been itching to say that to Manny ever since ninth grade. It was too bad she couldn't see Manny's expression when she read it.

_' Why are you doing this, Emma?' _the logical part of her brain argued. _' You have so much to live for! '_

" No, I don't, " she argued back. " I have nothing to live for. NOTHING!"

She screamed the last part out and with a quick motion of her hand, wiped everything off her computer desk.

Breathing heavily, she sat on her bed for a moment, staring at the knife lying on it. She picked it up and then saw her list.

" I still have to write more letters," she whispered. " I have to."

With that, she placed the letter titled ' Manny ' on top of the other three letters and got a new piece of paper out.

4 letters down; 5 more to go.

NEXT UP: SEAN


	6. Dear Sean

Dear Sean,

Before I go, I want to tell you something.

I love you.

I love you, Sean Cameron. I always have, and I always will. I know you don't love me anymore... That you used to, but it went away. It was replaced by a love for Ellie Nash.

I don't know where it went wrong. Maybe it was the first day of ninth grade. We were walking together, talking, so close yet so far apart. I was telling you about Mr. Simpson and you were answering, but I couldn't help noticing that you were a little distant. I should've recongized the warning signs. That you were getting bored with me.

I'm sorry I couldn't be your perfect girl. I really tried, I did, but it just wasn't good enough. I'm sorry that I cared about the enviroment, I'm sorry that my mom had a baby, I'm sorry that I cared about Mr. Simpson. But I don't want you thinking that I didn't care about you.

Because I do. I love you so much, it always hurts to look at you and Ellie laughing together. Did I make you that happy, Sean? Did my kisses leave you breathless like hers?

I sometimes hate you. I hate you for breaking my heart. I can hate you so much with a passion, but it always goes away. And then I love you. I love the way you run your fingers through your hair when you're nervous. I love how you don't eat meat. And I love how the way you make me feel when you kiss me. I love you, Sean. I love everything about you.

I wish that you loved me. I know you did, once. I'm sorry it went away.

I'll miss you, Sean. But I'll be your guardian angel. Always looking out for you.

Bye, Sean.

Love,  
Emma

Emma let a tear drop on the paper, smearing her name. Why did he make her feel like this?

Her mind flashed back to theseventhgrade...

_She turned around and saw a sulky boy staring at the class, eyebrows raised. " No, " he declared. Emma cocked her eyebrows at this, but didn't say anything. She saw J.T. and Toby exchanged confused/amused looks._

_He sat down two seats away from her. And she hadn't been able to keep her eyes off him since._

She smiled at the memory and another one from her mother's wedding floated to her mind...

_" Um, it's a slow song and you're not dancing," he replied, looking incredibly nervous. She had to supress a laugh._

_" No one really caught my interest," she hinted, looking at him, willinghim to ask her. It apparently worked._

_" How about now?"_

_" I'd love to," she replied, smiling. And then they started dancing and Emma couldn't help but realize how perfect they seemed together. They leaned their foreheads together, breathing heavy, and suddenly Emma leaned in and kissed him, leaving them both breathless._

_Their first kiss._

Ninth grade...

_The way his arms felt around her waist, the tantalizing hand slowly going up and down her arm... the way his tongue was teasing her mouth... the way he softly whispered, " Emma..."_

_She missed those makeout kisses. She missed HIM._

" Sean, " she sighed. " I miss you so much..."

She sealed the letter and put it on top of the other letters.

Emma went into her bathroom to go take a shower.

The phone rang, but she didn't hear it.

The caller ID read ' Sean Cameron '.

NEXT UP: J.T.


	7. Dear JT

Dear J.T,

We've been best friends since kindergarden, but lately, we've been strangers to each other. I miss being able to talk to you, you know? It's been like centuries since we last spoke to each other. I can't even remember the last time you gave me a friendly hug.

But, I guess you're just like Manny. You found some new popular friends and decided to ditch your old ones. Let me ask you something, J.T... Was I ever a bad friend to you? I may have teased you and laughed at you, but it was never in a cruel way. You are one of my best friends... or should I say was. You don't even say hello to me in the hallways anymore.

Maybe if you and Manny would acknowledge me and Toby a little more, we wouldn't resort to such desperate measures as I am now... I've killed myself, J.T. And yes, it's entirely my fault for I'm the one who stabbed myself in the chest with the knife, but maybe you could have stopped me.

I know, that after reading this letter, you'll laugh in disgust and crumple it up, throwing all my feelings in the garbage. But at least you've read it.

We've been through a lot of things together. And I'm sorry that we can't go through anymore. Just... J.T.? I've never stopped caring about you as a friend. Maybe I'm just another faded reflection to you, but that's ok. I know that nobody cares about me anymore.

Bye, J.T.

Love,  
Emma

Emma mutely put the letter on top of Sean's and wasn't surprised that she wasn't crying. She had no more tears left.

**FLASHBACK**

_" J.T. and Liberttty sittin' in a tree... K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Emma and Manny sang out, grinning at J.T.'s embarassed blush._

_" Liberty doesn't like me like that, ok?" he exclaimed, trying to act like the teasing didn't bother him._

_Emma rolled her eyes. " Sure," she commented and passed him to get into the classroom, patting his shoulder on the way. He jokingly swatted it off and patted her head._

_Manny and Toby smiled at each other, enjoying the Emma and J.T mock fight._

**END OF FLASHBACK**

She really would miss J.T. He was the only one who could ever make her laugh, really laugh. And yes, she'll admit, she once had a crush on him. In the sixth grade. But it was over, of course.

She saw a red light beeping on her answering machine and curiously stared at it. _' Who would be calling ME?_'

She pressed the button and a deep voice started to speak before it was interrupted by loud music blaring down the street. Hurrying to close her window before the message ended, Emma finally shut her window but the message was done and deleted.

Emma shrugged. Oh well. It wasn't probably wasn't even important.

NEXT UP: TOBY


	8. Dear Toby

Dear Toby,

I wanted to take the time to tell you how sorry I am that I wasn't a great friend to you as you are to me. I feel like I've always seem to have taken you for granted... something you didn't deserve. You are one of the sweetest, most loyal guys I will ever know and one of the funniest too. Most people don't listen to you, but I do. You have such an intelligent brain with such witty comments. I'll miss those comments.

You were always there for me. When Sean broke up with me, when Mr. Simpson had cancer, when I needed someone for that Panther skit. Only Toby Issacs would have the courage to do that. Even Sean wouldn't do it.

It's not fair for me to leave you with such cruel people at Degrassi. It's not fair that J.T., Manny, and even me deserted you when you needed us the most. We all haven't been good friends to you. And I don't know about the two of them, but I feel so guilty about that. I never, ever, meant to hurt your feelings intentionally.

When we hugged at Jimmy's memorial service, I felt close to you again. I felt like, maybe, just maybe I could start making up for all the missed times I could have been a best friend to you. And now I have to go. You'll probably hate me forever. And I don't blame you. Because I've become numb to feelings.

I remember when you had that massive crush on me. I was so amused by it, but I remember feeling bad when you yelled at me for ditching you for Sean. I'm sorry, Toby. I didn't mean to hurt you.

Bye, Toby. I'll really miss you. You were one of the few people who cared.

Love,  
Emma

Emma started to shake and put the letter in the pile. She sat on her bed and shook with her tears, feeling incredibly guilty for what she was about to do.

_' Why do I care? Why do I care if I make them hurt? What makes me think they will hurt? Nobody cares... right?"_

As she lay in her bed that night, she wasn't sure what she thought anymore. She thought these letters would help her, but they were just making it worse.

**FLASHBACK**

_She saw Manny and Toby walking up ahead and raced up ahead to catch up to them._

_" Wow, Toby, you were incredible! I mean it," she said sincerely, grateful for his help, even if she DID have a big bruise on her forehead. He was about to say something but she saw Sean up ahead and her eyes lit up._

_" I'll be right back," she said hastily and hurried up to talk to Sean. She didn't notice his hurt and disappointed look._

**END OF FLASHBACK**

Her cellphone rang but she was too much in a deep sleep to hear it.

NEXT UP: CRAIG


	9. Dear Craig

Dear Craig,

It's kind of weird writing this letter to you. I mean, we barely speak to each other nowadays. But I felt that since I was once friends with you, I owed you this.

I used to have the most massive crush on you. And who wouldn't? You're one of the most charming guys alive. You charmed me, Ashley, Manny, almost every girl in the school with a pulse. And for a while, I thought you had a crush on me. I'm glad now that you didn't. I'm glad that you had a crush on Manny and left me to get my feelings back for Sean.

I wanted to thank you for on the first day of ninth grade, you went and helped me go find my dad. That meant a lot to me. You might not have really understood what was going on, but you were still a good friend.

I hope your life clears up soon. I mean, first you get Manny pregnant, cheat on Ashley, get diagonsed with bi-polar disease, and now Ashley leaves. I hope you realize how much you mean to Manny. I may not be that happy with her right now, but she needs you. Especially after Spinner broke her heart after promising not to.

This is a short letter, I know. But what can I say? You and I drifted apart.

I'll miss you.

Love,  
Emma

Emma sealed up the letter. She checked her cellphone to see if anybody had left any messages.

She flipped it open and was flooded with shock when in bright letters read ' 1 New Message '.

She clicked on it and it started ringing. Heart pounding, she begged for the person to pick up. Whoever the person was, anyway.

" Hello," Sean Cameron's voice rang out. She melted. Somebody cared...

" Me and Ellie aren't home right now, but if you leave a message, we might call you back!" Emma gripped the phone tighter when she heard Ellie's laugh in the background. She slammed the phone down, fuming.

_' He doesn't care. He never did."_

NEXT UP: PAIGE

A/N: Yes, I know this was short, but hey... what can Emma say to Craig, huh?

P.S: To one reviewer who asked, yes, I am an Eman fan! I totally love them together, in case you hadn't noticed, LOL!

P.P.S: Thanks for all the reviews! 58 REVIEWS! That's the most I've ever gotten. THANK YOU!

P.P.P.S: Just one more letter, folks, and it's the big finale! Will someone save Emma? What will happen? Hmm...

P.P.P.P.S: And yes, I do have an idea formed out what's going to happen. One reviewer might know...


	10. Dear Paige

Dear Paige,

It's strange writing this letter to you. Kind of akward, actually. I know you never considered me as a friend, and I never considered you as a friend, but you did have some sort of place in my life.

I used to think that you were this pom-pom pumping robot who only cared about makeup and clothes, and if Johnny Depp was still as hot as ever. But I was so wrong. You're so much more than that. Underneath that whole " I've gotta be cool to fit in" cover, you're actually such a loyal, strong, caring person. Who else could have overcome rape like you not to mention you totally kicked Dean's butt? Who else would have had the courage to end such a safe relationship that you had with Spinner, because he had done you wrong? Who else took the time to defend Terri, even when she wasn't listening? You, Paige. You.

I am glad that I got to know you during the protest incident. You made me feel liked again. Like, maybe, just maybe, not everyone hated me. I wish I had just stayed away from Rick. I wish I had never even spoke to him. Maybe Jimmy wouldn't be in a wheelchair, maybe Sean would still be here, maybe I wouldn't kill myself.

But it's too late now. Too late to go back. The past is done, and the future is just arriving.

At my funeral, please tell Jimmy, Marco, Hazel, Ashley, Terri, everybody... tell them that no matter how small it was, they had some influence in my life.

Bye Paige.

Love,  
Emma

Emma sealed the letter up and realized she was done.

She was done.

She hesitated, not knowing what to do next. Should she just kill herself now? Should she wait until tommorow? At school? At home?

She wanted to see people's reactions. So, with an odd smile, she decided to distribute every letter to their house and see their reaction.

And then she'd die.

NEXT UP: SPIKE'S REACTION


	11. Mom's Reaction

A/N: I am so sorry for not updating sooner... I had a Barbizon class this weekend and I haven't been feeling too great. Hope you like this installment!

P.S: To one reviewer, no, Emma did not kill herself in the last chapter. Don't worry!

P.P.S: And just to keep this story going, I am going to have a reaction of everyone she wrote to. Like Degrassi always says... It's gonna be intense!

There was something bright shining in Emma's eyes. She shifted in her bed, burying herself under the covers, not wanting to wake up. She groaned in her pillow and squeezed her eyes tighter, blocking up the harsh sunlight.

BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BE- Emma slammed her alarm clock shut, scowling. She always hated alarm clocks. And who didn't?

Stretching, she got out of bed and winced at the cold floor. Hurrying to grab some slippers, she put her robe on and picked up the letters, feeling incredibly guilty for a moment.

_' Do you realize how selfish you are being!' _her mind screamed at her.

**' Nobody will care, don't you get it, Emma! So, why are you even writing letters to them?'** another portion of her brain screamed back.

_' I... I want to see what their reactions are'_

**' NOBODY CARES! NOBODY CARES!'**

" SHUT UP!" Emma screamed, placing her hands over her ears. " Shut up, shut up, shut up!"

Collasping, she curled into a ball and shook with her tears, almost cutting herself with the knife. Her cries echoed off the bare basement wall. That was when she realized she was home alone.

She stopped crying at once. These people were not worth her tears.

Feeling angry, she snatched up the letters and stomped downstairs, placing her mother's on the kitchen table. " I hope you're happy," she whispered.

She ran outside, robe still one. Looking at it, she threw it on the ground, thankful that she had fallen asleep in yesterday's clothes. She was wearing a blue tank top and sweat pants.

_' This is going to be your burial outfit'_, her mind said casually to her. She shivered.

She heard a car door slam and heart pounding, she raced to the back wall, and hoisted herself up near the kitchen window. She crouched down low enough so she wouldn't be seen.

Her mother, looking bright and cheery, was brushing her hair and smiling. " EM!" She heard her yell. " Time to get up, sweetie!"

Sweetie. Emma's stomach lurched.

Her mother noticed the letter and curiously picked it up. Emma started to shake. What was she doing... She was insane! She was going to put her mother...

Spike's face crumbled. " EMMA! EMMA! BABY!" she screamed, dropping the letter and slamming open the kitchen cabinet, searching desperately for the biggest knife. Emma watched her mother back up and cover her mouth when she realized the biggest one was gone.

" No," she wailed. She started to race upstairs and Emma heard her scream in despair.

" EM! EMMA...". And feeling sick, Emma started to walk off to the Degrassi School, trying hard to ignore her mother's screams.

NEXT UP: SNAKE'S REACTION


	12. Dad's Reaction

A/N: Thank you all for your lovely reviews! In this chapter will be Snake's reaction. I know most of you are anticipating this, so I won't keep you long.

P.S: I wish I could do something for Jack, and maybe I will, but I'm fresh out of ideas. Any suggestions?

P.P.S: Once again, I'm so glad you like this story! I was a little nervous when I started it... if all goes according to plan, it should be about... thinks 20-21 chapters... I'm not sure, but most likely 21 chapters.

Emma threw herself against the Degrassi Community School wall, breathless. She couldn't even count how many times she had to hide herself because people were walking by.

" Here goes nothing," she whispered and looked around, seeing if anybody was watching. When she was almost positive everybody was in class, she raced through the front doors, ducking so Mrs. H wouldn't see her. She was possibly an even bitchier principal than Mr. Raditch.

Her shoes made a squeaking noise on the tile floor. Squeak, squeak, squeak... Wait... she wasn't making those squeaks...

She darted behind the food machine. _' Why do I keep having these moments where I'll possibly slip!'_

The squeaking stopped. Still cautious, she peeked her head out a little and then went right back in.

_' Sean'._she thought dazedly, feeling breathless. _' Sean.'_

His face screwed up in concentration, he kicked the vending machine. " Damnit," he muttered and pounded it again. Emma let out a little squeak, startled.

Sean backed up. " What the-", he cocked his eyebrow and said, " Who's there?"

Furious with herself, Emma covered up her mouth so he wouldn't hear her breathe. Her head was peeking out just a little so she could see him.

And boy did he look good.

His blonde hair was tousled a little, looking like he had just gotten up and his clear blue eyes were sleepy, making him adorable. He had a curious expression on his face and he darted his head. " Em-"

Heart pounding, she darted back in and prayed to the heavens that he hadn't seen her.

" I could've sworn..." she heard him mutter to himself, then he laughed. " Cameron, you're cracking up."

Still laughing, he kicked the machine again and she heard his shoes squeaking along down the hall. It stopped moments later.

She came out slowly and breathed a sigh of relief that he hadn't caught her. But something in her was disappointed that he hadn't.

_' Get a grip, Emma. He doesn't care anymore.'_

She felt something warm sliding down her cheek and hastily wiped it off. She had to give Snake his letter.

The bell rang. She panicked. Then, noticing a bathroom she ran into a stall and propped herself up on the toilet. Several girls with small feet and bright pink toenails sauntered in and Emma inwardly groaned. _' The Pink Bitches'._

**FLASHBACK**

_Emma walked down the hallway, feeling more lonely than ever. Manny was still ignoring her because she had accidentally brought up Manny's abortion, Sean was giving her weird/concerned looks all the while kissing Ellie, and Toby was flirting non-stop with her, giving her the heebie-jeebies._

_" Nelson!" A girl with short red hair and hazel eyes barked out, Rachel, slamming Emma against the locker. Emma gasped when the door cut her shoulder, making it bleed a little._

_" Oh, I'm so sorry, Nelson... here, let me make it better," Rachel sneered and slammed Emma again._

_The old Emma would have pushed the girl right back but the new Emma didn't say anything. Another girl with curly, long, black hair and cold blue eyes, Christina, sneered and pushed Emma's books out of her hand._

_Emma dropped to the floor silently, tears flooding in her eyes. These girls made her life hell ever since the shooting incident. They blamed Emma for putting their beloved idol, Jimmy Brooks, into a wheelchair._

_Emma looked up and noticed her white jacket was stained red with blood. The tears started flowing and she locked eyes with Manny, who was biting her lip, looking like she was about to cry too. Emma shook her head and backed off, running away._

_She heard the the girls Rachel, Christina, Miranda, and Jessica laughing all the way to the bathroom._

_As she was running, she ran into Sean and he looked at her jacket, looking a little sick. " Emma, what happened?" he asked._

_She just shook her head and pushed him away, keeping on running. " Emma!"_

_He didn't care, she just kept on telling herself. He couldn't care._

**END OF FLASHBACK**

Shaking her head to remove the memory, she heard Miranda laugh. " I heard that Nelson, has gone like, totally pyscho."

Rachel snickered. " She's probably going to kill herself."

Emma stared down at the floor, trying hard not to reveal herself.

" Why don't you all go back to being sluts and leave Emma the hell alone?" Paige's biting voice snapped at the girls. Emma snapped her head up.

Silence. The bathroom door swung open again and the girls left. Emma could still hear Paige muttering to herself. The warning bell rang. " Shit."

A few minutes passed after Paige had left. Emma still stared down at the floor, trying not to feel guilty. Nobody cared, right? Paige was just... being...Emma ran her fingers through her hair and hastily thought, _' Paige was just mad because she didn't say those things first'_

Satisfied, but a little uncomfortable, Emma swung the bathroom door open and started walking to the office, glad that almost nobody was in there. She placed the letter in Snake's mailbox and then saw him walking towards it.

She hid behind the front desk, adjusting her view so she could see him. He was humming cheerfully to himself, patting his barely-there hair down.

" Emma," he said, smiling and ripped the letter open. His smile vanished.

He dropped the letter and grabbed the phone, dialing a number quickly. " Honey?"

His face fell even more. " Honey, just calm down, she's still gotta be alive. Don't worry, I'll start a search team. She can't be dead yet."

He hung up the phone and placed his head in his hands, shaking.

Emma had never seen him cry before. She quietly crawled her way to the door, opened it, and ran out before he could see her.

Things were not going the way she had planned.

NEXT UP: JACK'S? ( MANNY'S?) REACTION


	13. Manny's Reaction

A/N: Ok, I am leaving out Jack's reaction and substituing Manny's, but for like a epilogue, I just might add Jack's reaction when he finds the letter when he gets older...

I was kind of surprised that I didn't get as many " OMG!" reviews for Chapter 12 as I normally do. To me, that was one of the best chapters I've written of the story. Oh well.

P.S: I know, I know, people do care about Emma, but she's too caught up to realize it.

P.P.S: Did you guys love my Emma/Sean exchange... Well, it was kind of an exchange. I've been leaving so many hints for you guys in here...

P.P.P.S: Somebody said that they thought the Pink Bitches were BITCHES. Haha. I will include them in other chapters too. Because I can.

P.P.P.P.S: Oh, and I forgot to mention. The Pink Bitches incident was what caused Emma to finally crack. In each reaction chapter, I'll elaborate more until I get down to the finale.

Emma leaned against the hard wall. She felt like she was going to puke.

What was she doing? She was hurting people. Slowly, she realized that she was hurting people. Maybe she realized it a little too late.

She rubbed her forehead and cleared her throat, and the guiltiness passed. She was numb again.

So what? Her Mom and Dad cared. They were programmed to care about her. No big deal. They had Jack. They'd get over her soon. Shed a few tears, bury her, and then watch Jack take his first steps. Happiness.

It wasn't like everyone else would care. Manny would look at it and then turn it over and scribble down a few more cheerleading routines. J.T. would read it and then make it into a paper airplane. Sean would just see ' Emma' on it and then throw it away.

So why was she even giving it to them?

Because there was some small piece of hope in her that they did care. It just took a little push to make them realize how hard Emma was falling.

She gently eased out Manny's letter and gripped it tightly, walking down the hallway to Manny's locker. Her footsteps made an empty, echoing, lifeless sound on the floor.

She stopped and then spun the locker combination that Manny had told her a couple of weeks ago...

**FLASHBACK**

_" Hey, Em," Manny said cautiously as she sat down next to Emma at the lunch table. Emma was silent._

_" Um, are we still up for hanging at the Dot today?" she asked softly, trying not to upset Emma any more._

_Emma turned to look at her, eyes flashing angrily. " I don't know, Manny. Let me think. Am I going to spend this beautiful afternoon with a neurotic bitch like you? I think not."_

_She spat the last three words out and went to get up but Manny pulled her back down. Emma yanked her arm away. " Don't touch me, Manny! Don't even look at me!"_

_" Emma, I'm sorry!" Manny burst out, looking miserable. " It's just... it really struck deep when you mentioned my abortion. I'm still really guilty about that, and it just made me so mad when you mentioned it so.. easily."_

_Emma calmed down for a minute, but was still frowning. " You know I didn't mean to. But still... you didn't even try and stick up for me. You let them hurt me."_

_A tear leaked down Manny's cheek. " I was scared."_

_Emma scoffed. " You were scared? Of what, them? You had nothing to be scared of. I did. Even if I don't show it, Manny, I'm a human too. I have feelings like everybody else. But nobody seems to want to realize that."_

_And with that said, she got up and stalked off, leaving a very stunned Manny behind._

**END OF FLASHBACK**

Emma opened the lock and briefly stared at a picture of a 14 year old Emma and Manny together. They were smiling brightly, arms locked around each other in a hug. She was beaming this huge grin and Manny was smiling sweetly. The good old days.

Emma shook her head and placed the letter in Manny's locker, leaving it open. And feeling satisfied, she walked off, and hid behind the vending machine again. It was rather cramped but it hid her well.

Manny walked down the hall. Emma knew Manny had this period off.

Manny looked at her locker open and curiously went up to it, picking up the letter.

She slit it open easily and took it out, smiling. The smile remained but Manny's eyes seemed confused. The smile faded.

She slid down to the floor, looking like she was in shock. " Emma," she said blankly.

A tear slid down her cheek. Another tear slid down.

" Emma, I'm so sorry," Emma heard her whisper. " I'm so sorry."

Emma bit her cheek and willed herself not to cry. She didn't miss Manny. She didn't want to comfort Manny.

" Emma, don't go," Manny wailed. Emma recongized that wail. It was only when things were horribly wrong when Manny would do that helpless, wanna-make-you-cry wail.

" Emma..." Manny was full out sobbing now. Emma jumped when she heard a BANG!

" EMMA!" Manny screamed. She started kicking the locker.

Emma shifted uncomfortably. She tried to muffle her tears.

" EMMA!" Manny screamed again.

She didn't miss Manny, she repeated to herself. She didn't want to comfort Manny. Not at all.

Emma had no idea that the next letter's reaction would be so much worse.

NEXT UP: SEAN'S REACTION


	14. JT's Reaction

A/N: Now, THAT is more like it! I love when I get positive reviews and this is one of my best stories yet... 108 REVIEWS! AGHHH! Thank you! I love you!

P.S.: To one reviewer, no, Manny did not get shot... the BANG! was her kicking her locker... and she didn't see Emma, she was just hysterical.

P.P.S: One reviewer pointed out that if this whole story was about Emma/Sean, shouldn't his letter be last? That is a very, very, very GOOD point! If I just put up his letter now, I can kinda guess that everybody will just lose interest because that's basically the climax of the whole thing. So, I will have J.T.'s reaction in this one.

_' Emma!'_

_' Emma!'_

_' Sweetie!'_

_' Em...'_

Those haunting desperate voices of her loved ones lingered in Emma's mind. She squeezed her eyes shut and placed her hands over her ears repeating, " Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up..."

The voices faded and just the images remained. Emma pushed them to the back of her mind and set off for the boys locker room. It was 6th period, and nobody had Gym, so she knew she would be safe.

Sean's letter was next, but she wasn't ready to give it to him. Not yet. So that went down to J.T.'s letter.

She fingered it absently as she walked to the Gym. What would his reaction be, she wondered curiously. Her mom and Manny had burst into hysterical cries. Snake had just put his head in his hands and quietly weeped. Would J.T. cry?

_' People do care, Emma. You're just too thick to realize it.'_

She ignored that and pushed open the locker door.

Nobody was around. The boys locker room was chilly and smelled like old socks and... ugh, cafeteria food.

Trying hard not to pass out from suffocation, she plugged her nose and found J.T.'s locker, which had a picture of Manny, Emma, and Toby on it. She ripped it off and placed the letter on it.

She stared at the picture.

It was a 12 year old picture of them. Spike had taken it on the day before seventh grade started. Toby was wearing a yellow polo shirt and leaning on Manny's scooter, smiling. Manny had a pink shirt with jeans on, hair clipped back, grinning brightly. Emma had her favorite jean jacket on with those black stretchy dolphin pants, arm around Manny. J.T. had a checkered black shirt on with sunglasses on top of his spiky brown hair, back against Emma's, grinning.

She felt a familiar wave of lonliness pass through her and she quickly put the letter down.

**FLASHBACK**

_Emma was still pretty angry with Manny, and she was storming to her locker. She slammed it open and threw her books on the ground, getting ready to leave school._

_Someone tapped her on her shoulder. She whirled around. " What!" she snapped._

_It was J.T. Curly hair and bright blue eyes staring at her curiously. Waving his hands in mock-surrender, he patted her shoulder. " You okay?"_

_She relaxed and shut her locker door, kneeling down to pick up her books. " I'm fine."_

_He said absently, " Good. Hey, do you know where Manny is?"_

_She stiffened in mid-kneel. Clenching her jaw, she stood up, books in her arms and bitterly muttered, " Crying like a baby."_

_" Huh?" he asked in confusion. He scratched his head. " What did you say?"_

_She sighed loudly. " Nothing, J.T. She's out in the lunch yard, probably crying her eyes out because I told her the truth. Oh, and by the way, thanks for noticing that I'm crumbling."_

_He looked even more confused. " What do you mean, crumbling? You, uh, look pretty solid to me."_

_He jokingly rapped her head and agreed, " Yep, pretty solid."_

_Is everything a joke to him, Emma wondered. Tears swarming in her eyes, she clutched her books tighter and ran out of the school, not hearing J.T's yells of " Emma! Emma, what did I do!"_

**END OF FLASHBACK**

Emma heard footsteps coming and hid behind the basket of dirty towels. Oh, gross, she thought disgustedely and tried to hold her breath.

J.T. was humming to himself as he slung the towel over his shoulder, revealing his bare chest. Emma suppressed a laugh. Would J.T. ever get any bigger? He had been that small since the ninth grade.

J.T. finished spinning the numbers to his locker combination and swung it open, wincing as it hit the locker next door to it. Emma nearly jumped out of her skin.

_' If I don't stop being so jumpy, I'll crack before I even get to see Sean's reaction!'_ she thought angrily to herself, but willed herself to look at J.T.

" What's this?" J.T. asked himself, looking at the letter. He recongized Emma's handwriting and raised his eyebrows. " That's weird..."

He ripped it open and unfolded it, peering closely. " We've been best friends since kindergarden, but lately we've been strangers to each other..." J.T. read to himself. He became silent as his eyes quickly looked over the whole letter.

He crumpled it and threw it on the ground, not moving for a second. Emma was confused. What was going on?

A sudden loud noise made her almost scream, almost revealing herself.

J.T. had slammed his locker shut and was breathing heavily, eyes flashing angrily. He picked up the note and threw it at the wall, picked it back up, and threw it again.

" I NEVER HATED YOU, EMMA!" he screamed, kicking the wall. " I STILL CARE ABOUT YOU!"

He slid down the wall and started to shake, sobbing. " It's all my fault," he whispered.

_' No, J.T.,_' Emma thought sadly, ' _it's mine.'_

He took a shaky breath and got back up, getting the letter. " I gotta find Toby," he said to himself.

But Emma was already gone, off to the Kerwin/Issacs household.

SPECIAL EDITION OF WHAT EMMA DOESN'T SEE

A few minutes after Emma had left, Sean entered the locker room. He noticed J.T. looking like the world had crumbled. He raised his eyebrows, but he didn't have time to ask him what was wrong.

" J.T., man, have you seen Emma?" he asked hurriedly.

J.T. just stared at him sadly.

NEXT UP: TOBY'S REACTION


	15. Toby's Reaction

A/N: I cannot believe how much reviews I have gotten for this story. And we're not even done yet! It's... amazing. If I get 200 reviews, I swear, I will die from shock.

Sorry I haven't updated lately!

Emma walked down the Degrassi hallway, absently wondering on how she always managed to go back to this place... this spot that had changed her entire life.

She stopped dead in her tracks, closing her eyes. She could almost feel the cold breeze of Rick's heartless figure. She started to shiver. She pictured him, standing there, grinning at her, almost laughing at her scared expression. He thought it was funny.

He was walking towards her. She wanted to run, wanted to scream, but her mouth wouldn't open and her body wouldn't move. She leaned on Sean's arm, but it wasn't there. She looked around wildly. Nobody was there.

A whimper escaped her lips.

_" Sorry I kissed you Emma..." he softly whispered._

He was walking towards her. Her feet were stuck to the floor.

_' Help me!' _she wanted to scream, but nothing came out.

With a shudder, she abruptly opened her eyes and the memory of Rick faded. She breathed slowly.

Still feeling uneasy, she wiped some imaginary lint off her shirt and continued to walk towards the Issacs house.

She swung the Degrassi Community School door shut and locked eyes with Spinner. She panicked.

" Hey, Nelson, your boy Sean has been looking for you all week!" he shouted, jogging up to her. She walked faster, trying to avoid her.

" Emma, wait up!" he yelled out, laughing. She walked faster, swiveled around the corner and he was gone. She breathed slowly again.

Sean was looking for her... A brief smile was captured on her lips before she bit it. No, she had more important things to do.

Looking around, she tried to find a window to Toby's room, something she could climb in.

" Aha!" she whispered as she noticed the dark green curtains with video game stickers all over it. " Definetely Toby's room."

She climbed up the wall, wincing as some thorns poked her fingers. Blood trickled down her hand and she tried not to whimper out with pain. She clumsily patted the window, searching for the lock. When she finally located it, she unlatched it and climbed in, landing with an OOF! on the floor.

She grunted with pain as she untangled herself from her long legs. She peered around. She had only been in Toby's room once and that wasn't such a pleasant memory.

Shoving all thoughts of Sean from her mind, she lifted herself up and took out Toby's letter, placing it on her pillow.

There was also another letter on the pillow. Cocking her eyebrow curiously, she picked it up. It had her name on it.

She opened it. " Dear Emma," she read. " I've been in love with you since the seventh grade..."

She bit her lip as she read the rest of the sappy letter and placed it down, trying hard not to cry.

She collasped on Toby's bed, head in her hands. What a mess she was making. What a mess she was creating.

She heard footsteps pounding up the stairs and she jumped up, feeling frantic. Searching around the room, she finally noticed Toby's closet and ran into it, shutting the door quietly.

She peeked out of the crack. Toby, hair wet and shirt damp, was squinting around his room. " I could've sworn I heard someone up here."

He noticed the letter. He picked it up. He saw her name and then dropped it.

Emma bit her cheek hard so she could taste blood. Maybe Toby really didn't care.

The phone then shrilly rang and Emma nearly jumped out of her skin.

" Hello?" Toby answered, sounding rough.

Emma noticed his eyes widen. " No, Manny, I haven't seen her. Why?"

" Manny, I can't understand what you're saying, calm down!"

He dropped the phone and frantically ripped open the letter.

" You were such a good friend to me," he read bitterly, laughing. " Apparently not good enough."

He threw down the letter and slammed the phone down, not bothering to say goodbye to Manny.

He sat down on the bed and picked up his pillow. " There's a teardrop," he said slowly.

He looked towards the closet. Emma quickly hid from view.

A minute passed. Emma peeked out again. Toby had left the room, but she could hear him talking to someone.

" Look, she's still gotta be alive. There's a teardrop on my pillow! And, the letter wasn't there this afternoon. She's just a really good hider, Sean."

Sean. Emma took a quick breath then released it.

He hung up the phone. " Emma, I'm going to find you," he shouted, " And if I don't, I know someone who's devoted his entire life now who will."

SPECIAL EDITION OF WHAT EMMA MISSED ( SEAN AND TOBY'S PHONE CONVERSATION)

" Hello?"- Toby

" Toby, dude, you haven't seen Emma, have you!"- Sean

" Nope. But I got her letter."- Toby

" Letter? What letter?"- Sean

" The goodbye letters she's giving out. Guess she skipped you."- Toby

" Yeah. Guess so."- Sean

" Look, she's still gotta be alive. There's a teardrop on my pillow! And, the letter wasn't there this afternoon. She's just a really good hider, Sean."- Toby

" I'm going to find her. Call you when I get an update. Later."- Sean

" Bye."- Toby

Toby hung up the phone and started laughing. His humorless laughs filled the entire Issacs household.

NEXT UP: CRAIG'S REACTION


	16. Craig's Reaction

Nobody Will Miss Me

A/N: Heh, heh... Hello, everybody... ducks tomatoes

Please don't hate me for not updating! I've been so busy...

Emma walked down the street, silent. Even her thoughts were silent.

She couldn't hear anything. Everything was muted. Feelings of everything were swirling through her body. She was shaking, she was crumbling, she was breaking down.

She couldn't afford to. She still had reactions to see. She took a deep breath.

' _Pull yourself together, Emma,' _she thought to herself. She tugged her shirt down and brushed some lint off her jeans.

She walked by her house. She could see her mom crying in her dad's chest as police officers checked around the living room. She started to run, feeling incredibly stupid. She had no idea what she was doing or why she was doing this anymore.

All she knew was that she couldn't stop.

She stopped in front of the Jeremiah household and noticed that there were no cars in the driveway. Just Craig's new motorcycle that Joey got him for Christmas. She took a deep breath and walked up to the door, ringing it. It seemed it was like in slow motion.

Craig answered it. His brown hair was messy and his eyes were frantic. " EMMA-"

She shoved him into the house and frantically placed her hand over his mouth. " Sssh!"

He shoved her hand away and glared at her. " What are you doing! Do you have any idea how many people are worried about you!"

She looked down guiltily. " No they're not," she muttered, trying to sound unconvinced.

He rolled his eyes and put his hands up. " You're such an idiot."

She glared at him and pushed him hard. " Shut up. You never even took the time to find out why I was planning to kill myself."

He looked sick. " Em..."

She backed away. " No! Keep away from me."

She threw down the letter and before she could go, he grabbed her arm, all the while tearing open his letter. He threw her down on his couch. " Sit and don't even think about moving."

She folded her arms and grumpily complied. He sat down next to her, reading it. His face expression remained neutral.

He put it down and awkwardly tried to hug her. She flinched and jumped up. " Stop! Just... don't show that you care! Nobody cares!"

He tried to reach out for her. " Emma..."

She started to run to the door. " Don't you dare tell anybody I'm still alive, Craig!"

She ran out the door and into the street, tears streaming down her cheeks. She didn't want them to care. She wanted to just die, didn't anybody realize that?

She felt free. No worries, no cares. Just her and the wind taking her away to a place where she would be free.

Free not to feel bad.

Free not to feel guilty.

Free not to feel dead.

Craig was going to tell. She knew it. That was why she had to hide. Even if he tried to keep shut, she knew it would come out eventually. She had to go to a place far, far away.

Then it hit her.

**FLASHBACK ( The summer after Eighth Grade)**

_" Sean!" Emma giggled as Sean tickled her mercilessly. She was on her back, arms thrown all over the place, trying to get Sean off of her._

_" C'mon, Em, just let me get your sensitive spot," he laughed. But she didn't budge._

" Sean!"

_He got up and ruffled his hair. She sat up next to him and leaned her head on his shoulder. He looked over at her and smiled._

_" Do you think you'll ever go back to Wasaga Beach?" she whispered, feeling his heart beat._

_He stiffened a little and sighed. " I don't know. Maybe when I'm older. I mean, one time..." He paused and then shook his head. " Never mind."_

_He leaned in to kiss her but she pulled away, curious. " No, you've got my attention. What were you going to say?"_

_He rolled his eyes. " Should've known you wouldn't let me drop the subject. Anyway, one time, after the summer of seventh grade, everything just sucked. You dumped me, I had no friends, and Tracker was always making out with his girlfriend of the week. I felt like I had no place to go."_

_Emma looked down, feeling horrible. " I really made your summer that bad?" she mumbled, not wanting him to see her tears._

_He lifted her head up. " Em," he murmured. " It's over now. Can you let me finish?"_

_She smiled a little bit and nodded._

_" I went to Wasaga Beach a few days before school started. Was thinking of running away back there. Back to this old shack I used to hang out in when my parents drunk and Tracker was out at parties. It was so quiet there."_

_She smiled softly up at him and said, " I'm glad you didn't run away. Because it sure would have sucked without you here."_

_He grinned at her. " Really?"_

_And before she knew it, he was tickling her again. But she gently dislodged herself from him and kissed him gently. _

_It turned into a full make-out session._

**END OF FLASHBACK**

Emma grinned. She had a place to go to.

NEXT UP: PAIGE'S REACTION


	17. Paige's Reaction

Nobody Will Miss Me

A/N: I am SOOOOOO sorry for not updating! What can I say, summer has been crazy as heck for me! But, have no fear, this chapter will surely leave you guys happy.

Emma put her hand out in the street, signaling for a cab. She knew what she had to do. She had to get away from this soap opera hellhole they called Degrassi Community High.

As she climbed in the cab car, she spread her legs out over the seat, wondering what was going on back home. Had Craig told already? She shivered. She hoped not. Because a certain someone would think of the place she was going to.

She looked in her purse and saw two more letters there. Paige and Seans. She leaned her head back and sighed. Well, she was brilliant. How was she going to get these two letters to them?

The car jerked and Emma hit her head on the window. " Damnit," she muttered and glared angrily at the cab driver, who was leering at her. Gathering her stuff together, she handed him 20 bucks and quickly got out of the cab, happy that she didn't have to be in there with him anymore.

As the cab sped off, she looked around and smelled the ocean. _' Wasaga Beach,_' she thought happily. Even though Sean complained about it a lot, she actually liked the place. Sand and sun everywhere, a big shopping mall, an internet cafe... How cool was that?

Emma's eyes widened. It was apparently cool enough for...

_' Paige?'_

Emma ducked into a cafe and peeked out the window, as Paige Michalchuk, hair pulled back and clothes thrown together ran past the window, body movements frantic. Emma watched her run off with curious eyes.

_' Why is Paige in Wasaga Beach... DAMNIT, CRAIG!'_

Emma slammed her hand angrily on the restraunt table and blushed bright red when the other restrauntees stared at her in wonder. She quickly put her head down and pretended to be ordering from the menu. She could feel her blush growing stronger and ducked down further.

As soon as her body temperature returned to normal, Emma lifted her head up and peeked out the window again, but Paige was gone. To God knows where.

Her cellphone was vibrating. Without thinking, she flipped the top open and said, " Hello?"

_Shit._

" Emma!" Paige Michalchuk's frantic, yet pissed off voice rang out. " Emma, where the hell are you!"

Silence. Panicking, Emma quickly shut the cellphone and shoved it in her purse, jumping up from the table and running out of the cafe.

The fresh air smacked her in the face like a harsh slap, but she kept on running. She had to get away from Wasaga Beach _now. _And this was the place she figured she could be safe in.

Her cellphone was vibrating again. She rolled her eyes. Couldn't Paige take a hint? She shifted her purse to her other shoulder and quit running, but then smacked into somebody.

" AH!" Emma shouted as she tripped and fell down, scratching her knee up. As she lay on the ground in pain, a manicured hand pulled her up roughly and started to shake her.

" Emma, are you crazy! Do you know how many people are worried about you!"

Paige Michalchuk's blue-green eyes flashed angrily as they met Emma's determined honey brown ones. Emma scoffed. " Please. They are hardly worried," she retorted back, knowing that that was a huge lie. Paige threw her hands up and turned away from Emma, starting to stalk off.

Emma limped after her, knee still pretty bruised up. " Ow," she whispered as she jumped over a hole. Paige heard this and turned back around, hard eyes softening.

" Come here," she demanded and rolled her eyes, grabbing a Band-Aid out of her purse. " Put this on it and the burning will cool down a bit."

Emma grabbed the Band-Aid without thanks and stuck it on her bump, which was now starting to swell. She hissed in pain as the Band-Aid got stuck on her knee as she was adjusting it.

As soon as she was done, she noticed that Paige was staring at her, hands on her hips. She rolled her eyes. " What?"

" Why... Why would you want to kill yourself, Em?" she whispered, her angry demeanor vanishing. She suddenly looked very sad and sympathetic. Emma turned around. She didn't want sympathy.

" Nobody will miss me," she said softly, trying to convince herself.

Paige turned her back around. " Yes, we would! As much as we try to deny it, we would so miss your protests. You're what kept the school alive with freedom and junk like that."

A smile escaped off Emma's lips. " Junk like that?"

Paige sighed. " What I'm trying to say is that you're a very special person, Em... You fight for what you believe in, you don't let anybody sway your opinions, and you give people second chances... You're one of a kind."

A tear escaped down Emma's cheek as she heard Paige describing all her good qualities. She unzipped her purse and pulled out Paige's letter.

" Here," she said quietly. " Something to remember me by."

And before Paige could protest, Emma placed the letter in her hands, gave one last sad smile, and ran off to the beach shack.

Where a certain someone was waiting for her.

Author's Note- Ok, I am adding more of the **Pink Bitches **incident down here, because it didn't really fit in with this chapter.

_As Emma was running away from J.T.'s insensitivity, she accidentally bumped into Rachel and they both fell onto the ground, books flying everywhere._

_" You bitch," Rachel growled and kicked Emma as she jumped up. Emma just sat there, silent, not bothering to argue back with her._

_" Have you gone mute or something, Nelson?"_

_" Nelson!"_

_" Emma Ugly Girl Nelson!"_

_Finally, Emma jumped up, furious. She grabbed Rachel's collar and shoved her up against the locker, eyes flashing and breathing shallow._

_" I'm warning you, Rachel," she hissed. " Keep messing with me and you'll endure pain like you've never endured before."_

_A little shaken but still gloating, Rachel pushed Emma off her and into another locker, where she cut her shoulder once more. Emma whimpered in pain as the blood trickled down her shoulder. Rachel laughed._

_Smack!_

_Rachel clutched her cheek and noticed that Manny was glaring at her angrily, hand still up in the air. " Want another one, Green?" she asked._

_Rachel went to shove Manny but Paige stepped in the way and stared at Rachel, daring her to move._

_" Quit messing with Emma," Sean's voice rang out. He was standing by the door, now holding onto Emma's shoulders. Emma noticed this and jumped._

_" STOP IT!" Emma screamed as tears flooded down her cheeks. " You're just making everything worse!"_

_The three looked at her in confusion._

_As she ran off, she kept muttering, " They don't love me, they don't love me, they don't love me..."_

Next Up: Sean's Reaction!

The thing you've all been waiting for!


	18. Part 1 of Sean's Reaction

Nobody Will Miss Me

Author's Note: Ehmagod... I... am a horrible author. ducks head in shame I have been so busy though! As you all know, summer is the most laziest time of the year, so of course, I have been lazy! I hope everyone hasn't stopped checking this story... bites lip

The thing you have all been waiting for...

SEAN'S REACTION!

cheers

Have fun!

**Sean's Reaction**

Emma pulled her jacket tighter around her and walked quickly, trying hard to ignore her pounding heart and the uncertain worries in her head. She had gone this far, hadn't she? She had to finish the job.

She..

She had to finish, right?

She was _Emma Nelson_, for god's sake! She never backed down from a mission. She never gave in easily. She never believed easily either.

Even if she wanted to.

She wanted to believe that everybody cared about her. That her mom and Snake were calling out for her, searching the woods. That Manny, J.T. and Toby were searching the neighborhood, yelling out her name. That Paige and Craig were trying to call...

Never mind.

But deep down in her mind, she knew that only would person would convince her that people cared. The only one she really wanted to care.

The only one that she needed to know cared.

Sean.

As she thought of his smiling face, an instant warmth spread over her body, and a small smile came to her face.

She stopped at the Wasaga Beach. She had been here once before. When Jay, Ellie, and her had dropped Sean off to his parents. She sighed.

That was the day she realized that no matter how much she had wished he would vanish off the earth, she never stopped loving him. She might have been wishing he would vanish off the earth, but then she always had a tiny hope he'd come back and take her with him.

**FLASHBACK**

_Emma leaned back on her chair and closed her eyes, letting the fresh summer breeze brush her face. It felt good to finally relax. She had spent the whole summer chasing after Jack, trying to teach him words because her mother was working overtime and Snake spent most of his days upstairs, sleeping and barfing._

_She shivered. She didn't like to think of Snake being sick. It made her insides feel like they were shriveling. She didn't like to think of Snake being gone. The will she had found had done bad enough to her._

_She fingered her hair which she had finally got cut into a shaggy style and sighed happily. Yes. Freedom felt excellent._

_A loud " VROOM!" interrupted her peace and quiet and she scowled. Sitting up, she shaded her eyes and shouted, " Hello, a knock on the front door would've been..." she trailed off, suddenly losing her voice._

_He was back._

_Sean slammed his car door shut and grinned at her. She stood up, grinned, and ran towards him, hugging him tightly._

_He laughed and caught his balance, for she had thrown herself at him. He hugged her back tightly._

_" You're back!" she squealed. She hugged him again and then let go, suddenly feeling very insecure and shy._

_" Yep," he declared, looking very happy and confident. " How have you be-"_

_He was cut off by her kissing him. Without thinking, he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her back, pulling her tighter to him. She opened her mouth and let his tongue enter, letting him explore the familiar places he had forgotten._

_When they seperated, she smiled at him but he just stared at her in shock._

_" Em..." he whispered sadly. Her smile slowly slid off and her heart sunk._

_" I'm still with Ellie."_

_Tear. There ripped a piece of her heart._

_" You know I still care about you."_

_There slid a tear down her cheek._

_" But I love Ellie."_

_And there went her whole heart. Cracked in two._

_  
Feeling like she would never be happy again, she glared at him and slapped his cheek. Stumbling back, he gripped his face and looked down at the ground, shameful._

_" So why'd you kiss me back?" she whispered and, then, letting the tears freely fall, she ran towards her front door._

_" You know what you've always been good at, Sean!"_

_She stared at him until he mumbled, " What?"_

_" Breaking my heart."_

_There went the slam of her door and her peaceful Saturday._

_Unbeknownst to her, Sean Cameron was finally breaking down. Crying freely, he walked dazedly back to his car, sat in the seat, and cussed himself out._

_He had done it once again. He had broken her heart._

_And lied to her._

**END OF FLASHBACK**

Shaking that memory out of her head, Emma stepped towards the sand and sun.

A wild thought occured to her...

Grinning, she took her jacket off, threw it on the ground, and started to run across the beach, yelling and laughing. Several people stared at her, but she didn't care. She finally felt **_alive._**

She ran down to the water and splashed the water all over her, tasting the salty waters and feeling her skin tingle with the coldness of the ocean.

Finally, after ten minutes of this, exhausted, she plopped down on the sand, looking at the beach shack a couple of miles away from her. She gulped.

Feeling the exhilarition of the beach run quickly drain out of her, she looked inside her purse and noticed her knife and Sean's letter.

Sean was in the beach shack. She knew it. She could see someone moving inside there.

She took a deep breath. She needed to confront him.

She needed to settle some demons.

But most of all...

She needed him to save her.

Author's Note: MWAHAHAHA!

I am so evil, I know... But you'll just have to wait a little longer for his reaction.

screams and runs away from angry fans


	19. Part 2 of Sean's Reaction

Nobody Will Miss Me

Author's Note: Wow... I guess people _really _like this story. I wasn't too pleased to get those reviews saying I was irritating and demanding I update it. Not to offend those _nice _reviewers who said please and how much they loved my stories.

But, just let me rant. I have a life too and it doesn't depend on sitting at this computer desk, writing eagerly to please my _lovable tone _crazed fans. I'm really flattered that you all enjoy my stories- and there's nothing more than I would like to than to make people read my stories and be entertained. But my life doesn't just depend on _that._

With that said, I really hope you enjoy Sean's reaction and I'm sorry if I made you guys upset but I just wanted to make you wait a little because 1) I personally love cliffhangers because they give me a little extra time to write so I can make it _better_ and 2) That was all I could really think of.

So now what you have all been waiting for...

Emma started to walk towards the shack, finally feeling like she was doing something _right _for a change. She felt like she was on another mission, like she was ' Joan of Arc' as Manny had so childishly called her.

And she knew that she was going to have Sean by her side again.

**FLASHBACK**

( Author's Note: I can barely remember this scene so if some of the lines are out of order, don't complain!)

_Emma and Sean were walking down the sidewalk, Emma frustrated about her campaign to get rid of genetically modified foods, Sean listening patiently._

_" If you don't like the cafteria food, then just don't eat it," Sean reasoned, looking at her._

_She sighed. " That's not the point. There's fish DNA in some of the foods."_

_He gaped at her. " They have fish DNA? That's just wrong."_

_She looked at him and stopped walking. " Yeah," she sighed and looked down, obviously sad. Sean turned around to her and smiled._

_" I don't know," he paused, looking puzzled. " I don't usually care about this kind of stuff... but... it seems like you have something important to say."_

_She shrugged at him. " I think I do,"she declared._

_" Well, then, don't back down," he replied and kissed her on the cheek. As he walking to his house, he looked back at her, grinned and continued walking, an extra spring in his step._

_She stared at him and smiled, feeling like nothing could bring her down._

_' I think I'm in love.'_

**END OF FLASHBACK**

She was to the beach shack. She took a deep breath and started to climp up the stairs, taking each step at a time, thinking carefully.

_" Ancient History."_

_" Should I be jealous?"_

_" Come on. A movie, a couch, double cheese... me."_

_" Why am I getting that weird, scary vibe?"_

_" I know, but this is more important."_

_" Sean, I like you."  
" I like you too."_

_" If the wedding does happen... the party starts at three."_

_" No one really caught my interest."_

_" Sean, I never got to say... you saved my life."_

_" If Emma came up with it, it's got to be a great idea."_

_" Shut up! Let them dance!"_

_"...Hi."_

_" Hi."_

_" The way you just stood up like that and told everyone off, it was so brave."_

_" Do you want to dance?"_

_" Yeah."_

They had history. And they were about to let history repeat itself. For real.

She opened the door and there he was. Sitting against the wall, staring at her.

She gulped. Walking slowly towards him, she slid next to him against the wall. For a minute, both of them said nothing.

" HOW COULD YOU!" he exploded, jumping up, glaring at her. He started to pace back and forth. Emma watched him, scared. She had always been a little afraid of his temper.

" Do you realize how selfish you're being! ' Nobody cares about me', ' You won't miss me', ' You won't even realize I'm gone'... EMMA!"

She was reaching towards her bag, tears going fast down her cheeks, trying to hide her hiccuping sobs. He grabbed the bag from her and pulled her close. She tried to squirm away but he just held her tighter. Finally, she relaxed against him and grabbed his shirt.

" S-S-S-ean," she sobbed. " I love you, please, please, please don't leave me like everybody else did."

Not saying anything, he just hugged her tighter and let her cry.

When he wasn't looking, she inched her backpack away from him and tried to silently unzip it, not to raise alarm. When she found what she was looking for, she took it out and handed it to him. He stared at the letter curiously, loosened his grip on her, and started to read it.

She stood up, went towards the window and breathed in some fresh air. What would he say?

He cleared his throat. Emma turned around.

"I mive oo two," he mumbled. She stared at him, eyebrows raised. " What?"

" I love you too," he said louder. She stared at him. He reached forwards for him, a big fat tear slid down his cheek and she hugged him tightly, never wanting to let go.

But she forgot that her backpack was still open.

He noticed the knife glinting. " Emma," he gasped, looking sick.

She quickly took it out and tried to show that she wasn't going to use it.

But Sean misunderstood and tried to grab it from her. " Sean!" she screamed in fear, for the knife was dangerously close to her stomach.

" Emma!" he shouted, " I'm not going to let you kill yourself. No! I love you!"

" I love you too!" she shouted back. A storm was starting to rise in the background. A flash of lightning echoed on the walls and the shack started to shake a little due to the extreme thunder. It was getting harder to hear him.

" Sean, give me the knife! You're going to hurt me!"

As the glare of the storm was flashing in his eyes, Sean couldn't see and tried to grab the knife from her.

Instead, it ripped into her stomach. She screamed out in pain and slumped on the floor, blood oozing everywhere.

" EMMA!" he yelled, dropping next to her. His eyes were wild and his face had gone white. " EMMA!"

What had he done?

Author's Note: So... the story's not over yet. Nope. Yay, right?


End file.
